Uh yeah can we hit up this teen girl crazy bond AU plz? Gonna need this in my life. Would get along with these kids. We could listen to Haunted together.
Oh god and the way it ends:
So this tour will be a bit more Mötley Crüe?
[cue blank expressions from One Direction so GQ.com explains who Mötley Crüe are, with particular reference to their candid rock confessional The Dirt]
Niall: I can’t wait for that! Can we do one?
Liam: A diary of naughtiness?
Harry: Ours would be more like The Virgin Diaries.
Liam: Porn… without the illustrations.
Louis: Just porn!
Liam: This interview’s gone horribly wrong.
[One Direction’s PR intervenes and starts wrapping up the interview…]
Harry: We’re all adults here. We’ve all seen our share of…
Liam: No, you haven’t! You’re still 17! Shut up!
Louis: I find the whole porn thing quite…
Harry: I think it’s derogatory.
Liam: It can be a bad influence on youngsters…
Louis: …but sometimes it’s great.
Harry: Sometimes it’s amazing!
Liam: You’re 17, shut up! Louis, you brought this up! We’ve brought this upon ourselves.
Harry: This is going to be a great read.
HARRY STYLES: FEMINIST ICON
LOUIS TOMLINSON: ISN’T WRONG
LIAM PAYNE: DOESN’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT, DON’T TALK ABOUT THESE THINGS IN FRONT OF YOUR DAD, YOU’RE NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT PORN IS, GO TO YOUR ROOM, HAROLD, AND DON’T YOU DARE TURN ON THAT COMPUTER
gosh I wonder what it’s like to go through life not repeatedly losing and gaining the same 30 pounds every few months lol stable weight what’s that lol body what’s that don’t talk to me about bodies; I’m boycotting them right now
I wasn’t in such a good mood after the last couple of days.
You are perfection.
I managed to make it 32 minutes into the series finale of The Office without crying. I’d say that’s a pretty respectable balance of ambivalence towards this season and dedication to the deep and passionate love my 15-year-old self had for this show.
Edvard Munch - “From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them, and that is eternity.”
1. There will be several days that you daydream about stepping in front of a city bus. Don’t. It will not be beautiful. It will not be brave. It will be selfish. It will be broken. Your mother will cry.
2. Don’t write for him. Write for you. Write for others like you. Write so the girl that thinks about stepping in front of public transportation doesn’t. Don’t be selfish.
3. When you will yourself to sleep and it doesn’t come- get up. It doesn’t matter that it’s 3 am. There will be other 3 am’s. Take a shower. Take two. Wash him out of your hair. Write a poem. Read the same book you’ve read 202 times again. The 203rd time might tell you something different. Don’t stay in bed- you will think about the bus again.
4. Don’t kiss him because he’s broken. Don’t kiss him because his laughter never reaches his eyes. Don’t try and fix him. Fix yourself first. Be selfish. He can’t save you.
5. Date yourself. Take yourself out to eat. Don’t share your popcorn at the movies with anyone. Stroll around an art museum alone. Fall in love with canvases. Fall in love with yourself.
6. Dress up and wear red lipstick and get drunk with your friends. They’re the ones that will pick you up. Don’t kiss him. Or him. Don’t fall asleep on strange couches with strange boys. When his hand slides up your dress walk away. Hit him. Don’t kiss him. He can’t save you.
7. Get another tattoo. Get five more. Get another hole in your ear. Don’t listen to your dad. You will still be able to get a job. Did you really want to be employed by someone like your father? Haven’t you had enough of judgmental old white men anyway? Get fuck you tattooed in tiny letters on your hip.
8. When you feel the yearning for a new city- start over. Take 200 bucks and a three suitcases. Work anywhere that will have you. Meet strange people and forget your name. Call yourself Ruby. No one will know the difference. Remember to call your mother. Don’t be selfish. Come home when you find yourself in the strangers and the small one bedroom apartment.
9. Don’t whisper evil things into your own ear. Other people are going to shout them at you. Be your own hero. Keep a sword on your key ring.
10. Don’t step in front of a city bus. It will not be beautiful. Live. Stay up all night with a boy that promises you everything and means it. Live. See shitty local bands with a friend. Wear a different band’s t-shirt. No one will care. Live. Have a baby girl with tiny fingers and tiny toes someday. Pour love into her until it’s overflowing. Live. Wake up. Staying in bed all day is not poetic.
Do you hear that? It’s me. It’s your life. Wake up.